Bigger than me: part 4/5

(Part 4/5 of a series of posts sharing my reality of dealing with something I thought I was immune to) Medication! I don’t like taking pills. Even an ibuprofen for a headache... I’ll stew with one for hours before I give in and just swallow a pill to make the pain go away. The idea of taking another pill to “fix the pain” was not a welcome option to me. Coming to terms with the underlying issue was hard enough, but I figured out how to swallow my pride and filled the prescription.In my ignorance, I always assumed that medication for mental illness just masks the problem and makes you numb to the underlying issue. I quickly learned that was a big misconception and far from the truth. Once we figured things out I was able to find solace in quiet moments during the day. The desire to get back outside slowly returned. I found joy in the simple things like cleaning bikes in the garage and reading books with the kids at bedtime. Most importantly, my relationship with Shannon was back at the forefront of my mind. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been an easy fix by any means. There were a number of days, even weeks, over the summer and into the fall where I quietly slipped back. But having an even stronger relationship with Shan, we were able to address the situation and find our (my) way back on track. The “brightness of hope” was returning. When you truly love something, you’ll do whatever it takes to make it perfect.