Bigger than me: part 5/5
(Part 5/5 of a series of posts sharing my reality of dealing with something I thought I was immune to) This one is dedicated to YOU. For your support, your comments and most importantly, your friendship. Many of you have been through something similar, probably worse, or maybe even you’ve thought you are immune to depression. Many of you may still be in the thick of it. That’s ok. Go easy on yourself. Sometimes all it takes is a little shift in activity and attitude. Sometimes, like me, something triggers a change that no matter how hard you try to ride it off, run it off, or pray it away... that’s not enough. So it’s ok to be humble and give others an opportunity to lend a hand. And never be afraid to ask for help. You’ll find your brightness of hope as I have.Last summer many of us were able to experience an incredible event. The solar eclipse. Our family was driving through the Colorado desert while the moon passed between the sun and the earth. Knowing we wouldn’t be able to witness Totality, we didn’t put much effort into preparing for the event. As we sped down a lonesome highway, there was an eery shadow that covered the landscape. We discovered that while wearing sunglasses and looking through the dark tint at the top of our windshield, we could see the eclipse taking place. There was something magical about it. We were mesmerized and taken aback in the moment and stopped the car. Having each of our kids climb to the font of the car and take a look. It was one of those road-trip memories that will live in our minds forever.In addition to this cool little experience, Shannon and I both acknowledged that the eclipse brought a fresh chapter to our story. There was something about it that became a turning point for both of us. The medication, the unconditional support, and friendship, the week we had just spent with great friends, racing bikes and being in the mountains… We had just survived our own personal totality and were ready for a new trajectory.This photo of the eclipse was taken by my good friend @jasonbernhisel. We have it hanging in our home as a beautiful reminder of how incredible this life can be. Because even in totality - there’s always a sliver of light, a ring of hope. It took me awhile and a lot of courage to share this experience. Most people would have never known what they see here, or even seeing me in person. That’s typically how it goes but also why I wanted to share- to allow the conversation to exist. And things are much better now, they’ve been progressively better with each day, week and month. I’m here, putting this out there because I’m in a good place. I thank those of you who read along for your kind words, support and friendship. It means the world to me and I hope to one day return the favor.I’ll leave you with one of my absolute favorite quotes and a promise to always be authentic and honest. Thank you all so very much! “It will all be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.”