pcp2p. what happened

Saturdays Point 2 Point race was set to be a long, rewarding day in the saddle. Even if I didn't land a spot on the podium, just finishing the race speaks well for anyone who gives it a shot. For me, I made a decision that ultimately was harder than finishing the race. It just plane sucked.The race began at 7am in Round Valley. The pace was high but not out of reach to stay with the leaders. Once we left Round Valley it picked up a bit and I found my self at a bit more conservative cadence, trying to settle in. It wasn't until I got to Snowpark at Deer Valley that I began to feel comfortable and really find my form. At that time I was hanging on the back end of a top ten finish. A handful of really fast guys were up the trail setting the pace and keeping it hot.I felt pretty good about how the race was going so far. I had a feeling that my race would play out a bit like last year. As soon as I reached Silver Lake, I'd be able to pick up the pace and start finding my way towards the leaders. I found some good legs and started picking through the pack. My time split through Silver Lake was quick and not far off the leaders. Looking forward to the climb to Shadow Lake, I continued on with the same effort.As quickly as I came on, I found my self off. Off the trail and headed in the wrong direction. I began to question the route because it has been a while since I had seen any trail markers but at the same time there hadn't been any other options. When I finally came across a trail marker something didn't feel right. I knew that this particular section was part of the downhill from last year. I rode a few minutes in three directions, asked a bunch of people on the trail if they had seen any racers. None of them had seen any. Another clue that I made a huge mistake somewhere about 30 min. ago. I began to retrace my steps and again realized just how far off I was.By the time I got back on course I was out of water and food. Had I kept my eyes on the trail I would have been at the top of Shadow Lake and on my way to the feedzone. I pinned it. Turning myself inside out. At the top of Shadow Lake I had such bad hot spots in my feet I stopped and ran to the lake to dip my feet and releave the pain. shortly after that I ran into BZ who was stopped fixing a flat tire. We chatted a bit while he finished his repair then made our way to the feed zone at the base of Park City resort.At the feed zone I refueled with any thing and every thing I could find, then set out to finish the race. By now, the excitement from those cheering me on was fueling my legs and keeping my spirits high. Unfortunately, that would not last. As I climbed Spirro towards Mid Mountain, I realized there was no amount of Carbo Rocket, gels or peanutbutter and banana sandwich that would do me any good. I made a decision at that moment that was harder than finishing the race its self. I pulled over and sat under a shady tree. I was done. My insides wanted to come out and there was still a lot of trail to cover.I began to make my way down Spirro, back to the feed zone. Along the way I ran into BZ who decided to give the cramping legs another shot. He somehow convinced me to turn around and finish the race with him. Less than a mile later his legs ceased up and we would both decide to abandon the race for a second time. This time my mind had already dropped completely out and I was happy with the decision.Since then though I've been beating my self up over the event during the race. To have something you've been looking forward to for so long and really excited about and even more, to be on good form and getting stronger only to be crushed by a silly mistake by yours truly. How much more of a dummy can I be! I know its just another bike race and there will be plenty more to follow. I'm looking forward to those and even better form in the future. But I really let my self down in this one. It's personal. I'll get over it.Big thank you to Jay, Shannon and everyone else who made the Point 2 Point possible. It is an amazing race that was very well marked and hosted like no other. Thank you all very much. it was wonderful. See you next year and maybe I'll pay better attention to the bright orange trail markings.